As I’ve said before, fear is an opportunity for inner growth.
Each encounter with fear brings us to a moment in our reality where we can decide whether to make a shift and get to know that fear, or repress it once again.
To get to know our fears we must first expose them. Now I don’t mean tell everyone with whom you come into contact all about your fears.
No, not at all.
What I mean by expose your fears is, to be completely and transparently honest with yourself about what this thing is that you fear.
Identify the fear. Accept it.
Fear affects us all at one point or another. Holding us back from experiencing life and its beauty while also keeping us from being our true authentic selves.
Yes; believe it or not many of us have a true fear of being ourselves. So much so that we loose ourselves attempting to be what we believe is an acceptable or expected version of ourselves.
In doing this many of us loose our authenticity of self. We forget who we are genuinely, and therefore always feel a dis-ease in our being. A sort of discomfort or dissatisfaction with life itself.
The good news is that we can get to know this fear and take steps to eventually overcome it and bring ourselves back to authenticity.
The first step as mentioned is to expose this fear and identify it. Most importantly to do so with intention.
Make sure to take to the time to let yourself know that you are doing this on purpose and therefore you may take breaks or stop if it gets too uncomfortable.
Regroup, then continue.
A couple of ways to do this are:
1. To meditate with the intention of accepting whatever comes up for you without any judgement or self criticism.
2. To repeat a mantra such as “I intend to identify, accept, and transcend my fears”. Repeated this 10+ times taking deep breaths in between. Inhale deeply and hold for 5-10 seconds then exhale deeply and hold for 5-10 seconds between each repetition.
These methods allow you step into a calm relaxed manner of being before you begin.
Whatever your fear do your best to identify it and accept it.
Example- Is it a fear of:
• Being yourself?
• Rejection?
• Unworthiness?
• Self acceptance?
• Failure?
Taking the step to intentionally expose your fears and be transparent and honest with yourself in this way takes a certain degree of courage and curiosity. Therefore, you taking this step reflects upon your desire to return to the most authentic you.
Here’s what happens: When we move towards fear or think of it with the intention to accept this fear and expose it sends a conflicting signal to your brain. This is truly powerful as it causes your brain and body alike to reconsider the necessity of this fear.
This is important as it allows fear itself to be hesitant and in those small moments you can choose to make a micro shift and get to know this fear a little more each time. Each micro shift within a fear brings you one step closer to mastering that fear.
Recommendation: Create a plan. Start by listing your fears. Then re-order them from most do-able to least do-able.
Once you have identified your fears begin to think of any activities that you have experienced this particular fear with and list a total of at least 3 activities. You are to allow yourself to do these activities; while also allowing yourself to know that you are doing this intentionally.
Again this causes moment of hesitation for the fear reaction, and allows you small moments in which to collect yourself. Breath. You got this. Challenge yourself. Each time you do, you learn something new about yourself and your fear.
Work your way from simple and short activities or tasks to more difficult and lengthy ones. Take as much time as you need for each one. Doing each one as many times as needed.
The purpose of this step is to allow to you be in an environment that exposes your fear naturally while being fully aware and expectant of it in a safe manner.
Remember to be gentle with yourself. Don’t do more than you are able to handle. Do Not Overwhelm Yourself.
Endure The Discomfort: Finally we are left with the final step of exposing our fears. The exposure and acceptance of any fear will cause discomfort. Whether mental, emotional or physical depends entirely on the individual; so pay special attention to yourself and allow yourself to regroup whenever necessary.
The discomfort experienced is your bodies way of letting you know it’s confused and/or that you are reaching your limitations. Listen to your body, make the necessary adjustments and continue.
Do Not Over Exert Yourself. If you are done for the day then you are done. You can pick it up again the next day.
Hint: Decide before hand how long you intend to endure the discomfort and then gradually increase it.
Repeat these steps as many times as needed for each individual fear. This task takes time and requires you to have patience with yourself.
I hope that this has been helpful. As always I am available to answer any questions you may have regarding your individual journey to authenticity.
Wishing you best,
Carolina